


GOT7 VS ...

by ASLOnePiece



Category: GOT7
Genre: Established yugbam, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Humor, M/M, Multiple chapters, Other, established jjproject, established markjae, literally all for jokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2018-11-07 21:54:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11067885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASLOnePiece/pseuds/ASLOnePiece
Summary: GOT7 versus literally anything.





	1. Chapter 1

Mark, Jackson, and Youngjae had lost a game, and now here they were, bags of ice cream in hand, as they made their way back to the dorm. Jackson and Youngjae, being the eager boys that they were, couldn't wait until they got back and were happily eating their ice cream already. 

Right now, they are walking through the park, which is filled with many families and park goers. Other than the outside noise, however, none of them were speaking. They were either busy eating their ice cream or just enjoying the scenery around them.

Jackson, not being able to stand the silence any longer, smiled as an idea to liven things up came to his mind.

"Can you hold this for me, please?" Without waiting for an answer, he handed his ice cream to Youngjae and went to pull out his phone.

"Hey, Youngjae," Jackson called out to the younger, his phone already recording. "The floor is lava."

Youngjae's eyes widened first then glanced down at the two frozen treats in his hands.

"B-But my ice cream--!"

"5!"

"4!"

He began to panic as he scanned the area around them, only to internally scream when he realized that all the benches were full and any and all playground structures were already occupied. 

"3!"

At this point, Youngjae was ready to admit defeat. 

"2!"

A "manly" scream escaped Youngjae's mouth when he felt himself get lifted off of the ground. He looked up at Mark, who now had an arm hooked under Youngjae's legs and the other wrapped securely around his back for support.

"Mark hyung, that's not fair!" Jackson cutely complained. 

"You never challenged me, so I think this is very fair," Mark said matter-of-factly as he smiled down at Youngjae, whose cheeks were tinted a light shade of crimson. 

Another groan from Jackson snapped Youngjae out of his daze. He turned his head to look back at Jackson and stuck his tongue out at him. 

"Bleh~"

Jackson just rolled his eyes and lightly jogged to catch up to the two lovebirds. 

 

\----------

"Park puppy!" 

Jinyoung placed a hand over his heart after suddenly seeing Jackson's face. 

"The floor is lava." 

Jinyoung narrowed his eyes at Jackson. He had just gotten out of the shower and only had a towel wrapped around his waist, so climbing wasn't exactly an option for him, unless he wanted to put his jewels on display. 

"You could always climb on me, if you want." Now Jackson was really asking for a beating.

"Haha, no," Jinyoung bluntly declined, while climbing up on the bathroom sink. 

The Chinese man's shoulder's slumped. "Challenge success," he muttered, walking away from the bathroom to find his next victim.

On the way, he passed by Jaebum, who later walked into the bathroom and was pleasantly surprised with what he saw.

 

\----------

"Bam! Yugyeom! The floor is lava!"

The two jumped in surprise and began to scream.

"Jackson hyung, that's dirty!" Bambam whined, while continuing to furiously press buttons on the game controller. 

Jackson had seen the two playing video games on the floor, and he noticed that they were on the boss level, the level in which the player could not pause the game. In addition to that, the controllers were connected to the game console by a wire that wasn't long enough to reach the couch. Obviously, the little devil inside of Jackson couldn't resist the golden chance he was given. 

"It's okay, Yugyeom. We can always replay the game again." Bambam was already up on the couch and was motioning for the maknae to do the same.

"Are you sure? We spent all morning playing just to get to this point."

"If it's with you, I don't mind doing it all over again." 

Bambam's sweet words were enough to coax Yugyeom to climb up on the couch with him, and once again, Jackson was defeated. At the same time, the words "Game Over" in big red letters was displayed on the screen, but the two players didn't seem that interested in the game anymore. It seems they'd much rather spend the rest of the day cuddling on the couch.

"Why are the couples of this house so sweet?" Jacksom grumbled as he walked away from the sickly sweet sight.

 

\----------

Jackson was lazing around on the couch, rethinking his life decisions. None of his victims failed the "the floor is lava challenge," so his free spirit was taking quite the hit.

When he heard the familiar barking of Coco, he directed his attention to her and then his phone.

"No. I shouldn't."

After a mini debate in his head, Jackson sat up and brought out his camera. 

_'Fuck it.' ___

__"Coco-yah," he called, quickly grabbing the puppy's attention. Her cute little head was titled, her chew toy still in her mouth._ _

__"The floor is lava!"_ _

__Unlike what he expected, the puppy jumped up onto the couch and began to bark at Jackson. It was as if she understood the game and was now laughing in his face._ _

__Jackson's face was blank, and he threw his phone across the couch._ _

__"I'm done."_ _


	2. Family Game Night

_**The Game of Life** _

Jackson: Banker

Jaebum: Married w/ 1 child, who he claims to be Youngjae

Jinyoung: Married w/ 5 kids (all boys)

Mark & Youngjae: Both end up married w/ 1 child (girl)

Bambam: Married w/ 1 boy

Yugyeom: Married w/ 1 girl

 

_**UNO aka the Best Way to Ruin Relationships** _

The members each had their play of cards in their hands, each person warily eyeing the others with squinted eyes. The dorm was dead silent as they sat in a circle, waiting for whoever's turn it was, waiting to just lash out at whoever said that godforsaken word--

_"Uno."_

"Hyung! How could you betray me like this?!" Youngjae shouted exasperatedly at Mark, ultimately breaking the unbearing silence. He grabbed two more cards from the lessening pile and grumbled to himself as the game continued.

"Seriously, this is the third time."

"Sorry, baby. Don't hate the player, hate the game," Mark replied a little smugly, putting down a red 3 after Yugyeom and Bambam had gone.

"Goddammit, Jaebum hyung! Another skip?!" This time, it was Jinyoung's frustrated shout.

"Hey, don't hate the player--"

"I will direct _**every little drop**_ of hatred I have towards the very player that made me draw four cards twice and skipped me seven times."

Jackson fearfully placed down a red 7. "You're up, Jae."

The boy took one glance at his cards and then at the one Jackson had put down. He sighed and went for the drawing pile, unsuccessfully pulling out one he didn't need. The process went on for quite a bit, until he managed to finally draw and place down another red card. Too bad that he managed to get himself an extra ten cards in the process.

"Who's next?"

To sum up the rest of the night, 2young was obliterated by their boyfriends. Jackson, Bambam, and Yugyeom had the time of their lives, seeing as they were the lucky ones who always drew reverse cards and had the right cards to place. Despite their luck, Jaebum ended up being the final winner of Uno, though that doesn't mean that he and Mark were getting lucky that night.

" _Youngjae_ ," Mark dragged out his name in exasperation, his hands resting on the door to his and Youngjae's shared room. He had been standing there a good twenty minutes now just knocking and calling his name, and he was desperate to go in and fall asleep with his boyfriend in his arms, but the latter was having none of it. "Baby, please open the door."

His pleas were, like before, answered with silence from the younger, with the occasional barking of Coco. He could hear the sounds of his precious child clawing at the door and trying to get it open.

"Coco-yah, come here," he heard Youngjae's muffleed voice call. The clawing had stopped, and he listened as the little puppy's paws padded against the floor and farther away from the door. Mark sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"You, too, huh?" He looked up to find Jaebum leaning against the bathroom door, a tired look on his face. From the looks of it, Mark could only guess that Jaebum had been ignored and locked out by his lover as well. Jaebum and Jinyoung didn't sleep together, but the fact that the latter had chosen to not give Jaebum a goodnight kiss was eating away at Jaebum's insides.

"Couch?" Jaebum asked Mark, who had a single pillow and a thin sheet in his arms.

"Couch."

 

_**Monopoly aka Another Way to Destroy Relationships and Cause A Mess in the Living Room** _

"FUCK YOU, YOU GIANT ASS SHITSTICK!"

"Ha! Call me what you want, but at the end of the day, just know that you paid me for landing on _my_ property."

Both Jackson and Jaebum started to restrain Jinyoung from reaching over and strangling Yugyeom to death, and the cheeky little devil just lay back and watched the whole thing unfold, knowing full-well that they wouldn't let Jinyoung lay a finger on him.

"Jinyoung-ah, I know you probably want to see Yugyeom's lifeless body in your hands, but remember..."

"It's just a game," Jinyoung finished for Jackson, already calmed down after some coaxing from Jaebum.

"Actually, I was going to say that we don't want to see you go to jail at such a tender age and with a pretty face like yours, but that works, too."

_Not even a minute later_

"JUST WAIT TIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, KIM YUGYEOM!"

"Jackson, no! He's not worth it!" This time, it was Jackson being held by Jinyoung and Jaebum as he tried to reach over and commit the same crime that he convinced Jinyoung not to commit only a few seconds before.

"Now, do you see why it's a good thing that we're in jail?" Youngjae and Bambam nodded their heads, their bodies automatically shifting closer to Mark in fear of getting involved in the viciousness.

Needless to say, someone ended up flipping the Monopoly board that night out of anger and frustration. Also, Yugyeom probably didn't survive to see the morning light.

_R.I.P Kim Yugyeom_

 

_**Twister aka One Way to Get Intimate and Freaky AF** _

YJ: Jackson hyung, please get your ass out of my face.

JS: No can do, Jae. If I move, I lose.

M: Someone's arm or leg is rubbing against my crotch, and I swear to God if it's you, Jackson--

YJ: Actually, that's _my_ leg.

M: Please continue what you're doing.

BB: Gyeom, your dick is in my face.

YG: Sorry. Let me move.

BB: No no, stay. I'm loving this position. It reminds me of last night.

BB: ;)

YG: O///O

JS: PG-13 please! We have an innocent child present.

YJ: Hyung, for the last time, I am a grown 21 year old--

JS: Child.

YJ: *high key wants to facepalm, but his hands are lost somewhere in the tangle of limbs*

JY: While you guys are bickering, we'll just chill over here.

BB: You're only comfortable because you're always in that position during sex.

JJP: *Jinyoung is in doggy style, while Jaebum somehow ended up with his crotch right against Jinyoung's ass*

JB: And your point?

JS: So, who's turn is it?

YG: Pretty sure it's Jaebum hyung's.

JB: *notices the spinner is wayyy out of reach*

JB: Who the fuck threw the spinner all the way over there?

Everyone except Youngjae: *groaning and cursing out whoever did it*

YJ: . . .

YJ: Sorry.

YJ: ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ+)ﾟ｡

JS: IT'S OKAY! IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT!

JB: YOU'RE FORGIVEN!

JY: Silly me for thinking it was Yugyeom! HAHAAHHAHA!

YJ: *was decided the ultimate winner by default*

 

_**Go Fish or What Bambam Thinks Is Strip Poker** _

BB: Alright, Yugyeom. Off with your pants.

YG: Bam, we're playing Go Fish. There's no stripping involved.

BB: In my rules, there is.

Meanwhile, Jackson undressed the second he heard there was stripping and is currently competing with Jaebum and Mark to see who can give a better lap dance.

2young are sitting back and enjoying the show.

_A few drinks and a couple hours later_

Everyone has, at the most, only a single article of clothing on their persons and almost all are passed out in some random position in the living room.

YG: hOW? We were only playing Go Fish!

 

_**Mario Kart aka Yet Another Game that Ruins Your Relationship with Other Humans** _

Jaebum: Kept driving off the edge in Rainbow Road. Raged for like 20 minutes. Last place.

Mark: Was actually pretty good and didn't curse as much as the others. Somehow didn't get attacked that much. 2nd place.

Jackson: Was first place by the third lap, but got hit by a blue shell. "WHO THE FUCK THREW THAT BLUE SHELL?! I WILL END YOU!" Second to last place.

Jinyoung: Thought he was winning, but was actually looking at the wrong screen the whole time. Took his anger out on Yugyeom.

Youngjae: Destroyed everyone by waiting til the last lap to whip out all his items and shit. Was laughing the whole time. 1st place.

Bambam: The little shit that threw the blue shell. Wasn't laughing when he was hit by a red shell. 

Yugyeom: Bombarded the map with banana peels, because he thought it'd be funny. Ended up slipping on one of his own on the last lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2??


	3. Weed

Music blared throughout the dimly lit room, and bodies were busy mingling with each other. The room smelled of not only sweat and various mixes of alcohol, but also the infamous smell of weed. All in all, it was a typical college party. 

A college party that our main characters were not attending.

Instead, they were having a study session in Mark and Youngjae's room. Study session meaning that Yugyeom and Bambam were fooling around, rather than doing their assignments, while everyone else did theirs. 

By seven in the evening, almost everyone was done with their homework, save for Jaebum, who was stumped with his music theory assignment, and the two youngest, who were forced to do their homework by Jinyoung. 

At that time, Mark's phone alarm went off. Youngjae's eyes lit up immediately, and he rushed to the kitchen for whatever reason. The others were confused as to what was going on, but it was all clear to them once they saw Mark pulling out a few baggies of pre-made joints literally of out nowhere.

"You smoke weed?!"Jaebum exclaimed. "Why have we never heard of this before?"

Mark looked up at the five confused faces of his friends and shrugged his shoulders. "You never asked."

Youngjae came rushing back in, his sunshine-like smile on his face, and with him was a plate of peculiar looking food and a couple of boxes of pizza. The other five shifted their attentions to their otter friend with the same bewildered looks that they gave Mark.

"You smoke, too?" Jinyoung asked this time.

Youngjae shot them a sheepish smile and nodded his head.

"Mark hyung said that we should tell you guys today, since we don't want to keep this a secret from you. I hope you guys aren't mad." 

With his furrowed eyebrows and pleading eyes, how could any of them be mad? It wasn't like they were mad in the first place. They were just surprised, is all. 

"We also figured that you might want to try it, too?" Mark said, coming out as more of a question than a statement. "You don't have to. It's more of an open offer in case you wanted to try it at least once."

Jackson and Bambam were quick to slide on over next to Mark on the couch, both talking mad game about wanting to try it. Jaebum, Jinyoung, and Yugyeom on the other hand, were left standing and exchanging unsure looks with each other as Mark lit the first joint of the night.

"I think I'll pass." Jaebum stepped away to the side to avoid the puff of smoke Mark exhaled. "I still have to finish my music theory work."

"Okay, but you're welcome to join anytime."

Youngjae was the second one to light one of the blunts from a different bag and sat next to Mark to take his first puff. It was their usual routine to smoke together, and they didn't plan on changing it up anytime soon. Their routine also consisted of making out on the couch afterwards, but that was later. 

Jinyoung, upon seeing his favorite son enjoying himself, decided that maybe just this once wouldn't be so bad. When he asked which one he recommended, Youngjae giggled and handed one of the ones from his baggie. 

He was hesitant at first to even put his mouth on the rolled up piece of paper, but the second the sweet taste of strawberry hit him, he was instantly hooked. He figured that the weed was going to taste as bad as it smelled, but he was pleasantly surprised with this new taste and feeling.

You see, Youngjae smokes Strawberry Cough, a strain that tastes like strawberry shortcake, because he honestly hates the taste of "original" weed. Poor Jackson didn't know that they had different flavored weed, and he ended up in a coughing fit after the first hit. Once his coughing calmed down, he began to space out and think about life.

Jaebum, who went back to struggling with his homework, looked over at the rest of the group when Jackson started to cough. Then, he noticed how relaxed Mark was on the couch as he cuddled up with Youngjae. With one last glance down at the eyesore of an assignment, he said, "Fuck it," and decided to go de-stress with a few hits.

"iM So FUCKING High! What the fUCK?!" Bambam screeched before passing his untouched blunt over to Jaebum. Oh yeah, the boy was hella faking it.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Yugyeom was the only other person who hadn't inhaled anything yet, and he was feeling a little pressured to do it, too. He turned to his supposedly high best friend and asked if he should try it.

"hELL YEAH! You'll feel SOOO goOD BRO!" This bitch was trying so hard to fake it, but everyone else was too high to even notice.

Convinced by Bambam's bullshit, Yugyeom hesitantly took one of the already lit joints from Mark and took his first ever hit. After exhaling, he scrunched up his face at the aftertaste. The weird thing is that he kind of liked it, but he kind of didn't, so he ended up taking a few more hits out of curiosity. 

In the end, he concluded that it wasn't _that_ bad. Well, that was until he felt his dinner making its way back up, and he found himself bent over the trashcan, throwing up all of the contents in his stomach. 

Seeing his precious underclassman throwing up like there's no tomorrow, Youngjae got up from under Mark's arm and made his way over to where Yugyeom was now sitting on the floor. He scooched right next to the younger and began to pet his head to comfort him. "Yugyeom, are you okay??"

"Yeah. I'm fine now. Thanks, hyung."

Whatever Yugyeom said, Youngjae began to giggle and pet Yugyeom some more. 

"What do you guys usually do after taking a few hits?" Jackson asked. 

"We usually eat, sleep, or have sex." Obviously, the first option was already in action, what with Mark on his third slice of pizza and all.

"I did not have to know that last part."

"Is Youngjae hyung always this touchy when he's high?" Yugyeom asked from his spot on the floor. "He's been petting me and saying he loves me ever since I threw up."

Mark had to swallow whatever the fuck was in his mouth this time before he could properly answer. "Yeah. When awake and not making love, either he's petting me or we're eating. I honestly don't mind either one, cause he's an adorable little sunshine either way." And the man was back to devouring more food.

Speaking of petting and being a cute lil shit, Youngjae was still giggling as he continued to pet Yugyeom's head, much like that of when someone pets a dog. To Yugyeom, he thought it was a little strange, but he couldn't deny that he was weirdly allured to the gentle way that Youngjae's hand would occasionally rake through his hair. It was so soothing, so calming, so...

Oh, would you look at that. Yugyeom fell asleep on Youngjae's shoulder. How cute.

Bambam sighed and sneaked away from the rest of the group to go to the kitchen. He was getting a little tired of pretending to be high and decided he needed a breather from the unappealing stench of weed. That's when he spotted a plate of fudge brownies sitting on the table top, which were definitely calling his name.

He breathed in the sweet smell of chocolate, then wasted no time in shoving a few squares into his mouth all at once.

"Mark hyung, did you and Youngjae hyung bake these? They taste really good!" He said, his sixth brownie already being shoved down his throat.

"Hell yeah. We figured smoking might not be for everyone, so we baked up a batch of some pot brownies instead."

At that, Bambam dropped the brownie in his hand, his body freezing up entirely.

Jackson whipped his head up, his eyes showing the clear betrayal that he felt at that moment. "You had brownies?!"

Mark, who seemed to be the only one that actually heard Jackson's exclamation, nodded his head, while stuffing what looked to be a bacon cheeseburger with Pop-Tarts as the buns in his mouth. Seriously, how is this man so skinny?

"Why did no one tell me?!" Jackson never got an answer, since one: no one was sober enough or cared enough to give him a proper answer, and two: he got caught up with trying to suppress his coughs in his lousy attempt at wanting to look cool.

"Why do we bake cookies but cook bacon?" Oh shit, Bambam's actually high now.

"If you were born deaf, what language would you think in?" At this point, it's not even a surprise that Bambam is the type to be sitting on the ground, staring blankly at the ceiling, and voicing infamous "stoner thoughts."

"Why is the pizza box square if the pizza is a circle and a slice is a triangle?"

"Alright Bam, I think you need to lay down."

On the other side of the room, Jaebum was happily finishing up his homework, because the weed apparently gave him the thinking process and ideas that he was struggling so hard to acquire. Next to him, Jinyoung was in his own little world and staring blankly at one spot on the wall. No one tried to talk to him, but Jaebum asked if he was okay, all he got was barely noticeable nod of the head.

So as of now, everyone was officially high and doing whatever the fuck people did when they were stoned. For them, this included eating, zoning out, sleeping, getting all deep and shit, and oh, did I mention eating?

By the time a couple of hours passed, Yugyeom and Youngjae were left sleeping and cuddling on the kitchen floor, Bambam was passed out behind the couch, Jackson was sober enough to be in the bathroom trying to get the awful taste out of his mouth, Jaebum was asleep against the wall with Jinyoung in his arms, and Mark was left to clean up their leftovers. 

"Mark?" Jackson called from one of the bedrooms. 

"Yeah?"

"You guys do bondage, too?!"

"Whoops. Can't hear you. I'm sleeping."

"You're currently having a conversation with me? How the hell are you asleep?"

Silence.

Jackson shook his head and curled up under the covers of whoever's bed he claimed for the night. It probably didn't even matter, considering that Mark and Youngjae most likely slept in the same bed.

"Those two have so many secrets. Next thing you know, we'll find out that they have a sex tape."

"How did you know?!"

"Dear Lord, help us all."


	4. If They Switched Personalities

Mark -> Yugyeom

M: All I have to do is disrespect everyone and talk shit behind their backs with Youngjae, right?

JS: *in the back* BURRRNNNN!

• takes advantage of the maknae personality and fucks around with everyone feat. youngjae

• imitates yugyeom's sexual dance moves in a wonderfully successful attempt at seducing youngjae

• mocks the way yugyeom whines, "hyung~~"

• is allowed to act like a giant baby

• doesn't really do much the whole day, since they had a day-off and decided to use the time to rest

 

Jaebum -> Jackson

JB: Kill me, please.

JS: Why?! What's wrong with my personality!?

JB: *cringes as he thinks about how much aegyo Jackson does*

JB: Everything.

• forced to do aegyo by GOT6

• literally wants to kill himself

• has his fun by constantly showing off his muscles

• lowkey enjoys jinyoung sneaking more than enough peeks at his body

• mocks jackson's way of begging youngjae for attention by doing the same to jinyoung

 

Jackson -> Mark

JS: What do you mean I can't talk?!

• gets ignored whenever he tries to talk

• sulks by himself for most of the day

• eventually gives up and suddenly feels sorry for mark cause he goes through this everyday

• does mark's famous cutesy aegyo

• "maybe I should perm my hair"

• gets slapped by jinyoung because he claims that it's what youngjae would do

 

Jinyoung -> Youngjae

JY: I don't have any problems with my son's personality.

BB: Youngjae hyung's bright and cheery personality doesn't add up with bullying or cursing at Yugyeom.

JY: *nervously sweating*

• avoids yugyeom, so that he doesn't have to be nice to him

• fails and has to force a smile and keep his insults to himself

• almost kills yugyeom with cuddles

• uses youngjae's innocent personality in the bedroom ;)

• smacks jackson whenever he feels like it

• cringes in shame when he sees youngjae dab 

 

Youngjae -> Bambam

YJ: Please don't make me praise myself or make me wear colorful clothes!!

BB: Hey! I don't give myself praise!

GOT6, Ahgase, the wold: . . .

BB: Okay, maybe just a little bit.

• is forced to wear colorful clothes

• is also forced to praise himself at least once every hour

• everyone is highkey proud and supportive because they know how insecure youngjae is

• runs around messing with everyone with mark

• occasionally dabs

• throws in a few insults at his hyungs, but instantly regrets it and apologizes

 

Bambam -> Jaebum

BB: *constantly shows off his Jaebum when angry impression with the stuck out chin*

BB: *almost gets choked to death by Jaebum*

• is doing really well at acting like jaebum

• nails the sexy & chic style

• flusters yugyeom with his chicness

• continues to be a meme cause jaebum is a major meme

• dotes on youngjae cause they all know youngjae is jaebum's fave child 

• has to cut back on his glittery, colorful clothes

• instead, he wears jaebum's infamous fisherman's hat

 

Yugyeom -> Jinyoung

YG: Eww.

JY: Oh, how convenient. You're already getting into character and saying what I always say whenever I see your face.

• acts like a bitch, but doesn't really have to act

• insults his hyungs more than usual

• acts flirty with bambam feat. disapproving looks from jj project and dolphin noises from jackson

• gets smacked by jj project when he says that he's only copying what jinyoung does with jaebum

• is itching to dance when he sees mark dancing, but stays true to jinyoung's personality and tries to read a book

• takes pleasure in babying youngjae and relishes in the jealous looks he gets from jinyoung

YG: He's my baby now.

JY: fIGHT ME!

YG: Youngjae hyung's personality won't allow that.

JY: *forces a smile and almost succeeds in cuddling yugyeom to death*


	5. Personal Questionnaire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, ya'll! It's your irresponsible and shitty author back at it again with something different. Different being that this work isn't mine. It belongs to one of my closest friends, Fluffy_Kittiez, who doesn't actually have ao3 but can be found on Asianfanfics. She's such a sweet person, who took the time to write me this hilarious little one shot about markjae and the rest of GOT7. I'm really grateful for her, and I definitely recommend checking her out if you want more quality GOT7 fics. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this as much as I did! ^-^

-take 1-

"Welcome!" the Markjae couple says simultaneously, throwing their papers up with giggles.

Mark drops his toy mic, too, and Youngjae hits him with his toy hammer.

"Hey, kid! Stop that!"

"My mic, stop touching it!" Youngjae began to hit Mark faster and whining, and Mark just sat up and stared at the camera with a pout. Youngjae pulled his mic out of his hand.

"I'm gonna eat it." Youngjae says, opening his mouth big enough to fit the mic.

"We're normal, ain't we?" Mark looks at the director.

\---

\--take 2--

"Hey! Welcome to the GOT7-" Mark throws his papers so high this time, they fall right on Youngjae's head, and when he tries to take them back, one of the lights falls on Jae's head.

And Mark got a paper cut.

"Cut!" the director sighs as Mark bites his lips, staring at Youngjae's motionless body.

"J-Jae? Babe?"

\---

\---take 3---

"Hey there! Welcome to the GOT7 questionnare!" Mark says cheerfully, while Youngjae smiled at the camera.

"Jae, its your turn to say something." Mark audibly whispers, and Youngjae looks like he broke out of a trance.

"Huh? Oh, hey, yeah! So uh...my name is...it started with a Y...perhaps Yug-"

"You have Mark Tuan and Choi Youngjae with you, two members of the infamous group, GOT7!" Mark said, instead of Youngjae, who literally just woke up from a concussion.

"Yeah, that." Youngjae chuckles.

The other memebers, who were sitting on the benches, looked worriedly at Youngjae. Sure, they saw the huge bandage on his head, but it really just made them more worried.

"Ok, so today, we'll be asking our members questions that our lovely birds want an answer to. Let's do it by age order, so that Yughoe is last." Mark says, looking at Yugyeom, who was on the first row. "Don't flirt with my boyfriend ever again."

"He didn't flirt, Mark hyung, he wanted a threesome." BamBam corrected, clicking his tongue, "He just wants to get some from Youngjae and yeah, I do, too."

"Shut up, Bamhoe. Your guys' ship name should be 2Hoe or Hoesquared." Mark said, looking over his cards.

"Wait, I want a threesome. When did this happen? When was I asked to join a threesome?" Youngjae questions, looking at Mark with the most guilt tripping look ever.

"They asked me, and I...said no. Because you're mine and ONLY mine."

"No fair. I'm never allowed to have fun."

"Fun? BamBam is a stick and Yugyeom is a giraffe. Where's the fun in that?"

Youngjae actually forgot the answer he had planned for that question, and he looked at the camera with his mouth open, ready to say something.

"Youngjae? Hello?!" Mark began shaking the younger, which dropped him on the floor.

"Serio- HE FAINTED AGAIN?! CUT!"

\---

"OKAY! So, first member, to Bum Daddy. Because that's appropriate." Youngjae reads off the card, saying the last sentence while looking at the camera with an awkward smile.

"Babe, you're looking at the members now-"

"You're not telling me what to do, fun pooper."

"Its party po-"

"Shut up." Youngjae says, then looks at Jaebum, who had the goofiest smile on his face since Youngjae called him daddy. "Aight, so, Daddy, a fan asks why you wear the most disgusting clothes even though you share a dorm with BamBam and Jackson, who probably tried to murder you and your already dead fashion sense, especially after the bucket hat incident during "My Swagger". Why is it that you dress up so badly, Daddy?"

"Stop calling him Daddy." Mark whined, and Youngjae ignored him.

"Okay, baby, I forgot who you asked that question to. Who was it again?" Jaebum asked, smirking.

"Don't push your luck." Mark says, salty, but Youngjae repeats himself again.

"Bum Daddy, as the card says."

"Asshole, more like." Jinyoung says with his arms crossed, but Jaebum ignores the haters.

"Daddy, please answer the question." Youngjae says, and Mark sighs.

"Jae, you're gonna get a spanking."

"I'd gladly take it. Daddy?"

"Seriously? Jaebum, don't answer to that!"

"I honestly believe that my fashion sense is still alive, Baby Otter, as the card says." Jaebum mocks, and that earns him a glare from Mark.

"Sir, the flirting times are over."

"You can't expect everyone to chill with your boyfriend when he's Choi-"

"Jackson, everything was all good and then you opened your mouth." Jaebum interrupted, and Jackson gasped.

"Not true."

"Completely true, acrually. Mark has steam coming out his ears, now." BamBam supported his father, supposedly, opening up a bag of chips he probably stole from the reception.

"You can't eat in here!"

"Its Mark hyung, for you, hoe." Mark says.

"Nu-uh. You're Taiwanese-American, I'm Thai. There's no need for me to address you with Korean honorifics.

"Are you guys serious?"

"I want chips. Mark hyung, get me chips."

"Youngjae, no-"

"Jinyoung hyung, please get me chips."

"Okay, baby."

"You said please to him and not-- You know what?! I'm leaving!"

\---

"And we're back!"

This time, Mark was calmed down by Youngjae holding his hand and not being a cheater.

Or a tease. A troll, a bully, a meanie—Mark can go on, Author-nim can't.

"Next up, we have questions for our Wild and Sexy thing. Because he's only an object to us. Most likely a radio." Youngjae says.

Jackson wanted to cry.

"Youngjae-oppa, why don't you accept my sarang?" Jackson whined, whimpering and suddenly going all the way down to Youngjae's side of the MC table on his knees, begging.

"Aaaaaand...I cringed!" Youngjae says, lying his head down on the table and hitting it over and over while sighing.

"Something is wrong with us today."

"Something is wrong with us everyday."

"Jackson, your question." Mark says, looking at the younger, who was still on the floor.

Mark put his hand between Youngjae's head and the table, afraid that the members would give his boyfriend another concussion.

"I'm all ears."

"You're actually all vocal cho-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, JAEBUM! I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHITTY ATTITUDE TOWARDS ME! I WANNA CRY NOW, LIKE YOU MADE ME SO EMOTIONAL, LIKE I'M GONNA CRY! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! JINYOUNG, CONTROL YOU'RE FUCKING MUSCULAR AND SEXY AS HELL MAN!" Jackson screamed in a whiny voice, and Mark hit his own head on the table.

"Amen." Jinyoung says, crossing his arms.

"Jackson, please return to your seat." Youngjae says, finally giving his head a break from all the beating its been getting.

"Ok fine. But only because my baby told me to."

"He's not your baby, he's my baby." Jinyoung says, dragging Jackson back to his seat and then sitting down himself.

Mark's eye genuinely twitches.

"Okay, so the question is, do you actually throw up if you hear the word "inorganic"?"

The question was answered when Jackson threw up right on Jinyoung's head.

"Son of a--(bleep)!"

"CUT!"

\---

"Peach Mommy Jinyoung, lemme ask you straight up, who's adopted and who ain't?"

"Oo, that's a hard one." Jinyoung said, hissing. "Uhm...I think...BamBam is adopted, Yugyeom is from Jaebum and Jaebum only-"

"Jinyoung, he's from us both."

"I refuse." Jinyoung shook his head. "I refuse, Jaebum. That's not my son."

"I like how I'm referred to as "that". Its a step up from (bleep)."

"Jinyoung, what the actual hell?" BamBam asks, patting Yugyeom's head, "Don't cry, baby."

Yugyeom was confused, but smiled at the affection he was getting.

"Anyway, Jackson is adopted, Mark is adopted, and Youngjae...you're not adopted. Phew, that was hard to remember." Jinyoung said, wiping imaginary sweat from his forehead.

"Literally all of us but Youngjae are adopted." Jackson says, smiling at the camera while flexing.

"Oh, is that so? Oh..." Jinyoung says sarcastically, putting an arm around Jaebum, "Maybe because I always force Jaebum to put on six condoms."

"Are you-- Why?" Youngjae asked, leaning forward.

"You're the one who wasn't adopted, why are you the curious one?"

"Otter Baby, I'm not answering questions that aren't on the card." Jinyoung said with the softest voice any of them heard him ever use.

"Okay, mommy." Youngjae says obediently.

"Ok, so now that Jinyoung has ever so subtly flirted with my baby, BamBam, you're on the spotlight." Mark says, flipping throw the cards.

"I'm always on the spotlight, b." BamBam says, flipping his bangs.

"Seriously?" Yugyeom sighs.

"More serious than your character, b." BamBam responds, scoffing, too, in a happier tone than Yugyeom.

Yugyeom wants to cry. He didn't like this type of "affection".

"Double B...Because one's not enough." Youngjae actually laughs, quite cutely, at that.

"I should go over there and pinch your cheeks, sweet cheeks." BamBam says, blowing Youngjae a kiss and winking.

"Oh..." Youngjae says, then giggles. "You're too cute, Bammie."

"Not cuter than you, baby boy."

"I'm (bleep)ing--"

"Youngjae!" Jackson interrupts Mark.

"EXACTLY! So stop flirting with him, you animals!"

"Why don't we show Youngjae that we truly are animals?"

"Huh?" Youngjae asks innocently, and Mark hits his head on the table again.

"Can you people, please, PLEASE...just stop?"

"Just a heads up: We won't." BamBam admits, then looks back at Youngjae.

"For the love of (bleep)."

"Okay, Bammie, your question is: Why Yugyeom? That's all the card says. Oh...there's tear stains on the back and a shaky handwriting that reads..."I'm gonna kill myself the love of my life is (bleep)ing Kim Yugyeom I wanna die bye world I go." How is this allowed in the studio? Horrible English!"

"I'M GONNA KILL (bleep)ING KIM YUGYEOM!" the camera man yells, running at Yugyeom as he drops the camera, and everyone screams.

"CUT! (bleep)ING CUT!"

"HE'S THE (bleep)ING CAMERA MAN!"

\---

Youngjae and Mark were currently being filmed by a new camera man (read: Jackson) while they were making out. Because they were not warned that they're being filmed. They really let out all the noises that they'd usually let out in private and undressing each other, until the camera man (Jackson) squealed in a really high voice.

They both looked at him, Youngjae screaming and Mark saying, "Jack--!" in a startled voice.

"Ahm, yeah, okay, we're back. Uh..." Mark rushes to collect all the cards (goTTA CATCH 'EM ALL) and smiles at the camera, as if his button up wasn't completely unbuttoned, showing his entire torso, and as if half of the buttons weren't ripped out by a cute, little, not so innocent, eager otter.

"So, um, we're uh--" Mark chuckles, looking at Youngjae, and they both start giggling with blushing faces.

"We...We were unable to ask Brownie, because he's good enough to eat, his questions. We're so sorry, our lovely birds."

"Hopefully, a markjae sex tape would make them feel better." Jackson said, and the two began giggling again.

"No, I'm serious, let's film one right now."

Mark stopped giggling, and Youngjae coughed.

"What?"

"Let's go up to our bedroom. And camera man, you're not allowed to join in, you're only filming."

"Come on, man! How could you possibly not share Youngjae with anyone?" Jackson whines and the two giggle again as Mark carries Youngjae to their room, which was in their dorm, and Jackson followed them.

Right when they were in front of the door, though, the door was closed in Jackson's face.

That didn't stop him though, and he climbed in through the vents and into their room, capturing everything from the beginning to the end.

Okay, maybe he missed some from the beginning because he was still climbing through the vents, but really, the smallest snippets from markjae's sexy time could make anyone hard.

Even vaginas. And BamBam.

\---

"Okay, guys, since I've filmed everything with markjae, and since they just cuddle after sex, I filmed some of the cuddling then had to leave. I want you all to have a Merry Christmas, and I hope you all enjoy any other holiday you have at that time! Just be happy, okay? From the Wild and Sexy Wang to his birdies, bye bye!"

"Jackson...is that you in the vents?" Wild and Sexy Thing hears Mark's hoarse voice ask, and Jackson literally rolls out in the vent, breaking it and falling right on top of Youngjae.

"Dude, you're gonna get (bleep)ing killed, I'm done with you guys."

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO (bleep)ING BLEEP IT! LET THEM KNOW THE BRAVE STORY OF THE CHICKEN WANG! LET THE-"

"GIMME THAT!"

"SEND HELP! MARK, PLEASE, MAKE SURE THERE'S NO MARKS ON MY BODY WHEN YOU KILL ME, AND PUN INTENDED!"  
\---  
Because that's totally PG


End file.
